Has been 6 days since Daddy's passing on. There is this emptiness that lingers in me. For the past one month or so, I've been visiting daddy & accompanying him by his bed side while coping with school at the same time. Now, none of that is necessary anymore. I've been dropping by dad's place for the past few days for prayers and all. Frankly speaking, I'm freaking out 'cos every classmate of my is set on track to complete their projects but I feel so back-dated. I am lost in the world of a need-to-recover situation. It is like, suddenly going to dad's place does not require me to call "Daddy" aloud anymore, it does not require me to help him meet his needs nor does it allow me to catch up with him for all the years we have lost together.
Dad's passing has made gor become so close to my family; I'm sure daddy is smiling from above too =) He has always wanted gor to feel part of our family. Mummy felt comfortable with the relatives & had a good catching up with many of them; that was daddy's worry about mummy feeling awkward among he relatives. The relatives were more than glad to meet mummy again; I'm sure daddy is at ease now =) I know dad was unwilling to leave 'cos he is worried about his 3 yrs old Annabelle but I promise to do my part as the older sister to look after her & protect her by all means. Aunt Polly is my step-mum & I promise dad that I'll respect her for who she is and help her in any way I can. I will make a point to return for dinner at least every twice a month to visit my grandma & other relatives. I will take the initiative to remain close to the family even though daddy is gone. I know he will be happy =)
There is so much I wish to say but not all has been fully conveyed through words. I wish there was one person who is willing to sit and listen to me cry it all out. I still have bottled of feelings inside I cannot express. Even though daddy & I were not very close, I hope all of you give me some time to recover. It really isn't as easy as you think it would be. I never thought it would be so straineous to the soul, mind and body.
I wish to expressed heart-felt thanks and appreciations to the following friends who have played a big supportive role in my life during this period of time. Those of which came to pay my dad their first & last respects, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I know my dad will bless you all from above =)
My special guardian angels who guarded me with prayers were..The darlings of my poly school-mates from 2B01 (sorry to scare you all when I almost went hysterical upon the news that broke to me last wednesday of my dad's condition, really appreciate all of you who supported me through), Esplanade bar staff; Serene, Evelyn, Joyce, Cheryl, Wei xuan, Elaine, Li yun & Haikel, Best friends; You-mei, Shanae & Audrey, Beloved friends; Ivana, Denise, Xin ying & Jayne, Concern teachers & bosses; violin teacher Mr. Leong, ballet teacher Ms. Kok, Choc. & Spice boss Ms. Chan and Esplanade bar boss Asri. Nevertheless, my relatives, cousins and all those related to me who gave me words of assurance. A big Thank You to each one of you who gave me the strength to carry on & live for my mum as her strength. Sorry if I have missed out a few names, you know who you are & I want to Thank you too =)
I finally got a chance to take a family photo =) Only that one lies in his coffin, dead to the world but living in God's kingdom.
