It has been a rough week for me, having to cope with school and handling my feelings properly. Moods have been a sea tide over the week, smiling and laughing at one moment and when the thoughts strike again, I turn so cold, so quiet & ostracised myself from society. My tears have been bottling up & yet there's no revenue for me to release the fear within me. I don't wish to trouble or worry anyone, I am just glad to have those who still stand by me.
I wouldn't have been able to cope with school if not for mag & ning, who constantly showed their concerns & assured me with comforting words. Bus rides would have been so melancholic if not for xin's company, the talks and laughters we share helped draw my thoughts away. En seems to support me silently from behind, I know she cares & I am just glad she's there. Not many of my friends know about the situation now but I don't think I will reveal much. Won't want the class to fuss over my emotions. That might make me even more emotional.
Not forgetting bestie & xuan who is there for me too. I know they have been praying for me. Thank you all so much. Yea, I have very few friends. But these are the numbers that make my day. Mum hasn't been talking much about dad's situation, I guess this wall of hatred between the both of them will never ever break. Bro. has been supportive of me too, dropping me messages & reassuring me. It's so nice to see him so concern. He definitely means alot to me.
Right now, I just keep fingers cross & phone by my side at all times. I don't wish to be uninformed should anything happen.
I wish I had a recent family photo. One with just me, mummy and daddy. But I know that's a hopeless wish. My family is broken & that I got to face it. It drives me even further into wanting to be a counsellor to the families that I can reach out to. I want to proclaim a big NO to divorce, NO to adultry and NO to inflicting such emotional pains to our younger generations.
